Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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