I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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