you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
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