you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Randomize