Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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