She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
