...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
