and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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