He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
