you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
