if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize