At least make sure they are 18
Why
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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