He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
