You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
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Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
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Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize