The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Randomize
