Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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