I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
