Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Randomize
