found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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