That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Randomize
