What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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