Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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