Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is this the sara with the beer cane?
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I woke up under a house in Key West
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