I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
