My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Damn victory sex feels great
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
