It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
