I don't usually arrange sex via text message
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize