i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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