She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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