You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
