Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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