She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
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