hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
