when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
