"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Let's paint friendship bongs
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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