if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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