i wish my penis had a tongue
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
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