Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
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