I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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