also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Randomize
