Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
