Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Randomize
