Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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