i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
