When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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