Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
