So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
