Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize