he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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