is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
