didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize