I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
