Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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