I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize