That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
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