Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
wakey wakey hands off snakey
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
