You made me cry and you don't even care
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
