I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
