He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
