he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize